If I Was A Ho...

Of all the dreams I could have,
One is kind of off and raunchy,
Not anything you’d expect of me.
But hey, one can dream...
If I was a ho…

If I was a ho,
I’d be slaying muthafuckas day and night.
I’d have my regulars,
And my one-nighters.
And there’d be no overnights.
Do the do and get out!

If I was a ho,
I’d make ‘em work for it.
You'll be treating me right
And treating me well.
And you won’t be stopping by empty handed
     Or unannounced.
Cause this ho wouldn't go for that.

If I was a ho,
I’d acknowledge that I was a ho.
There’d be no lyin’,
No frontin’.
You ask, I’m gonna tell you,
     Straight up.
If you have a problem with it – STEP!

If I was a ho,
Protection would be essential each and every time.
I’d make sure I was getting tested on a regular basis,
And demand the same from my conquests.
Because no one else should succumb due to irresponsible
     sexual behavior on their part or on the part of those
     they trust.

If I was a ho,
You would respect me.
Cause I ain’t that type of ho.
Thinkin’ you can get at me whenever you want and
   treat me like shit –
Oh no, not me.
Ho or otherwise!

If I was a ho,
I’d give it a new name –
Some grace and some class.
I’d bring new relevance to the jump-off.
And show that even hoes got it goin’ on!

But I ain’t a ho.
Though I could be one,
I can’t bring myself to do it.
It’s crazy out here.
And it’s just easier to be in a committed relationship
Or at home with a porno flick jerkin’ off.

So no, I have no plans of being a ho
     anytime soon
But if I was –
I’d be number one!

~ BuddahDesmond

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