If I Had My Way

Another month gone by as the summer of 2007 is jockeying for the title of "fastest summer ever". Next thing you know everyone will talking about XMAS shopping. That is the very last thing I want to think about. So what's been going on in Buddah's world? Not a lot and I'm enjoying it that way.... Well, at least for this moment.

After being the dynamic duo at work, my supervisor and I, we are now a team of four. We've welcomed two new team members who are very intelligent, creative, and enthusiastic. I think they'll do very well. We'll be able utilize our resources better and accomplish a great deal more. I'm looking forward to the prospects.

After gallivanting through the streets nights and weekends for the last several months (like a gypsy with no home), I've taken reprieve. This is probably the second weekend in some time where I did absolutely nothing. Isn't nice to chill out for a change? I'm sure all of that will change next month. The calendar is beginning to fill up with engagements. More on that as that in other posts.

I also spent some time at home. My mother has been experiencing a lot of pain lately due to osteo-arthritis in her legs and bone spurs in her lower back. I had to help set up the office so she would be able to work from home. She's loving it and wishes she could work from home until she retires. If you had to deal with the b.s. from the cunts that she works with on a day to day basis you'd prefer to work from home too. She's been working from for about a month now. She experiences some pain every now and then but she doesn't let it stop her. She's always in good spirits. And she's been through a lot. She had her last chemo treatment at the end of April and the cancer is in remission now. She's been a trooper through it all. If there is anyone I can look to for inspiration it's my mother. Because of my mother and the example she's set I know that anything is possible. I'm happy she's still with us.

As for things between DP and I, they are a lot better than they were six weeks ago. We've worked through our issues and we're going to be fine. I didn't want to walk away from what we have and neither did he. We just had to get over ourselves and be honest with each other. Things happen. There's always a reason. Nothing is ever perfect. And this was our latest test (many more to come I'm sure). Of course things would be better if he was here permanently. If I had my way - he would be here. We would physically be together. But anything worth having is worth waiting for. The date of his arrival is set for sometime in November. And the anticipation and excitement continues to build....

And here's to two years of blogging! "On and on. And on and on. My cipher keeps moving like a rolling stone." E. Badu couldn't have said it any better. Until next time.... Be true. Appreciate what you have. Let the blessings flow.

Back to the Middle

It's me again.... I'm back after what seems like ages. Like TV..... It seems like I go through more mid-season replacements than ABC. I can't make any promises the next time, cause who knows what will happen in this show called "Buddah's Life." I can say that life has been exciting these last several weeks. Exciting, entertaining, depressing, scary, emotional, extraordinary.... You get the picture. I attended and volunteered at DC Black Pride (my first time doing either and I had a great time), went to a special screening of the DL Chronicles (acted, written, and directed very well), attended a conference in Austin, TX (met some really nice people while roasting alive in that Texas heat), and had a very brief rendezvous with someone I'll call QD. For anyone who's been reading over the past few months, you're probably wondering - well isn't Buddah in a long-distance relationship with DP? Are they still together? Did Buddah cheat on DP? Well, yes, yes, and no.

We're still together. As much as we've been trying to make it work, it hasn't been easy. We were doing fine but the distance has been taking its toll on the relationship. (15 months and counting, 5000+ miles away, 5-6 hour time difference depending on the time of year--you get it the picture?) I don't care but after a certain period of time - talking on the phone isn't enough. You need something a little more substantial. At a certain point, we started talking about having our cake and eating it too while we're away from each other. DP said that because of our situation he wouldn't feel bad if I had my fun on the side as long as I told what I was doing and when. He said he wouldn't be mad as long as I was honest with him. I found this hard to believe. In the back of my mind I knew this was a big test. Well as I hinted earlier, something did happen (with QD). Wasn't planned or expected (and damn if it wasn't GOOD!!!). Guess I failed the test, huh? Oh well..... So I told DP about it and, as I had expected, he flipped. We fussed, fought, and argued and things just haven't been right since. I'm like Faith Evans (without the coke) trying to figure out where we stand.

Will we come to our senses and get it together? Will we take a break until we're at least back in the same state? Or will we be like that famous jazz standard and call the whole thing off? Stay tuned for this is an episode in "Buddah's Life" with multiple parts. Until next time, don't be as wild and crazy as I've been. Second thought, be wild and crazy. Just try to get back to the middle. As a very dear friend told me, this is your time. It's time to do for you. Do what makes you happy. Don't let anyone steal your shine!

Something Is Better Than Nothing

Well it looks like I'm on the one post a month plan. I really wish I could post on a (semi-) regular basis but with all that's going on (and with my ADD-LOL!) it's difficult. There's always hope for the future. So how have I been? Ok, I guess. Busy as usual. Seems like I'm always playing catch up.

Work is good. Duties are increasing. I've been doing a lot of planning and preparation for the next round of user testing. It looks like we'll be staying put for this and the other testing projects in the queue. If we do any traveling it'll probably be sometime this summer (or early fall). In June I will be going to a conference in Austin, TX though. It'll be my first time going to TX. I'm excited. This will be yet another great networking opportunity in a great location. I can hardly wait. I'll be sure to pack comfortable clothes since it will more than likely be HOT.

Family life has been eventful to say the least. For the last several months, several of members of my family have been ill. Some in and out the hospital. My mother recently finished with chemotherapy and after being out for six months, will be returning to work soon. My grandfather was in the hospital for heart and kidney problems. My grandmother just got out of the hospital this weekend for heart issues. And I just got word today that my great-grandfather is in the hospital for what may have been a stroke. (And my other grandmother was in and out of hospital due to illness as well). As my grandmother said earlier today, "When it rains-it pours." All we can do is hope and pray that all will be well. Whatever The Creator deems necessary is what will be.

I'll be taking some vacation days around Memorial Day weekend (finally). Though I'll be staying the DC area, I'll be attending and volunteering at some of the DC Black Pride events. This will be my first attending (and volunteering) at a Pride. I have absolutely no idea what to expect. I just know that I better behave myself since I'm already spoken for (LOL!). If nothing else, I'll have some fun and meet some new people.

I've also been trying to get reacquainted with the DC area. So much has changed since I was away at school. What used to be so familiar has become quite unfamiliar to me. It would probably be a little easier to navigate if I had as many friends here as I did when I was at school. It seems like I had to start all over again in the social department of my life. I'm not sure that I'm like this aspect too much right now.... But I guess I just have to keep rolling with the punches. Maybe the social butterfly will have returned by summer.

DP and I have seem to be having quite a few disagreements too. We've said some things too each that we didn't mean to say. You know how that goes. I know I've been more hot-tempered than usual. I think it's due to us being away from each other for so long. This long distance thing is killing me. I'm beginning to see why long distance relationships don't last and why people avoid them at all costs. Long distance relationships are hard work. It's so hard, so very hard. It's so easy when you have easy access to each other (when you live in the same city or at least in the same state). But when you're thousands of miles apart it's rough. When you really need or want each other you can't be together. And that's probably the hardest part of it all. Sure you've got phones, emails, IMs, text messages, videos, and pictures. It's not the same and it will never add up to the real thing. In the same breath, I guess it's better than nothing. We haven't killed each other or broken up. These trials will only make our relationship and us that much stronger..... As I continue to yearn for DP's love and anticipate the next moment we'll share together....

Check out my reviews at Pictures and Frames Magazine. Until next time, peace, love, and many blessings! Be safe!

Coming Around Again

Hello All! It's been too long. Life is crazy busy right now. I just back from a business trip last night and may be going on two more trips within the next month or so. There are several releases coming up for new applications at work so it looks like I'll be working a little later and traveling more. With the schedule filling up and time not being my own, I ask myself one question.... "When am I taking a vacation?" And the reply, "I have no idea but it better be soon!" I have no idea where (or when) but I hope it's somewhere far from the east coast. I would really love to leave the country.... Maybe go to Paris, London, or Capetown.... But lack of planning (financially and otherwise) puts this temporarily on hold. If I go anywhere it will probably be somewhere within the 48 contiguous United States.

Though work has been busy it's been going very well. We recently had performance appraisals and I found out that I got a raise. My boss told me that he was very happy with the progress I've made. He went on to say that my work has been excellent and that I have exceeded expectations in several areas. And if my progress is any indication, he anticipates event greater things from me in the future. Hearing this made my day! I was very proud (and grateful for the validation).

Aside from work, I've been hanging out with a few people from work and catching up with friends. Despite the various mode of communications we have today, I am finding it increasing harder to stay in touch with folks. Emails, voicemails, text messages, IMs, blogs--it's starting to be a bit overwhelming. There's only so much my attention span can tolerate before experiencing communication (and information) overload!

There's a lot more going on but too much to discuss for this post. Until next time, I hope you have a happy and safe weekend! Peace!

Normal?

What is normal?

This question has popped up a lot lately.

Is it pink hair, tattoos, body piercings, and dark clothes?

Is it oversized hoodies, baggy designer jeans, Timbs, and over-the-top bravado and swagger?

Is it the $900,000 condo in a metropolitan area?

Or a cookie cutter single family home in the suburbs?

Is it blue collar or white-collar work?

Or how about a get-rich-quick plan?

Is it traditional? Or is it conventional?

Is it revelatory? Or is it revolutionary?

Is it the big house with seven bedrooms, six full baths, a picket fence, Lexus GS, two kids, and an American Bulldog?

Or is it an unashamed, refusal of the American dream?

Is it conservative or liberal?

Is it republican or democrat?

Is it capitalist, socialist, or communist?

Or is it apolitical?

Is it mainstream or underground?

Is it male, female, or trans?

Is it straight, gay, bi-, multi-, or asexual?

Is it married, common law, or a civil union?

Is it Christian, Hindu, Muslim, Buddhist, or atheist?

And is race, class, or culture a factor?

Wait a minute …

Does normal even know what normal is anymore?

Let’s face it:

We’ve come a long way…. Or have we? (Okay; that’s another poem for another day!)

We’ve evolved into so many different things

With a variety of tastes, likes, dislikes, desires, wants, needs, and dreams.

But the more things change, the more things stay the same

If you look a little bit closer, we tend to be more alike than we are unalike.

So instead of forcing people into what we think is right,

Or how we think people should live

(Translation: what we’re comfortable with),

Just let people be.

And remember—just because it was right for you don’t mean that it’s right for everyone else.

© 2012 BuddahDesmond

SomberHappyDays

We're in the thick of the holiday season now. So you know what that means? The year is just about over. It's the most wonderful time of year they say. I beg to differ. It's a mixture of extremes - both good and bad. The bad - people getting killed over playstations, fighting over the absence of holiday paraphernalia in public, an unjust war raging, and leaders who continue to dodge the truth, lack integrity and accountability (and that's a brief list). The good - the Dems winning control of Congress (not getting my hopes up just yet), Donald Rumsfeld getting fired, and the general public finally getting the wool from over their eyes. And for those of us who were fortunate enough - we're still living. If you've got the essentials in life - then you've got every reason to be happy. Family, friends, a home, food, clothes, love, a decent job, good health - what more can you ask for? In the same breath, it's these things that so many of us take for granted.

We often forgot how fortunate we are. And it's for the many things we have in this life that we should be not only thankful but grateful. And if you can, to try to give back to those who provided for your and those who have fallen on hard times. Instead of going for broke on Black Friday and the shopping days leading up to Christmas, how about putting your time, money, and energy into something more meaningful? Like building up your community, supporting the causes and volunteering at the organizations that really need the help, or simply investing more into your own family legacy.

I don't mean to be on my soapbox but things have hit me a little harder this year than most. Maybe it's because I realized that all of the things I used to value don't really mean anything. And the things I used to worry about would only create more stress and heartache, which only makes things unnecessarily worse. There's so much that I have and I've only begun to really appreciate it. I cannot take for granted what I've been given and those who provided for and supported me along the way. Therefore, I have to continue the mission that I started while back in school. And that's simply doing for others what's been done for me. And it doesn't have to be anything big. Sometimes it's the small things that have the greatest impact. And it's not only going to be during this time of year. If I have my way, it'll year round. It all begins with us. So many of us say we want the world to be better. But if we want it to be better, we have to make ourselves better before we can expect the world to follow suit.

More to come later. Until then, I wish you all the best!

Buddah's Thoughts

I had some things on my mind that I wanted to share. Some of which are related to the events--political, personal and otherwise--of the last few weeks.

1) I’m sure several millions of people are happy that the Democrats are in control of both chambers of Congress. Considering the events of the last four years, it was a sweet victory that many were predicting and anticipating weeks/months before the elections. The people finally spoke. They were sick of all the lying, cut-and-run shenanigans, and hypocritical philandering. The people finally woke up. And I guess you could say the Democrats finally woke up too. After all, it only took four years for the Democrats to get some balls and stand up for what they believe in. And now that the Democrats have control of Congress, the crème de la crème here is whether they will actually use their power to make a difference. Several reports have been written (see USA Today for 11/10/06) about how both parties are committed to working together to make a difference. Call me a cynic or pessimist, but I find it hard to swallow this premature joining of forces. How can both parties collectively join forces when they can barely do it independently? Maybe I’m being too hard on our representatives. But as citizens it is our job to be hard on our elected officials. Especially when they are slipplin’ and trippin’. Let there be any scandals in the Democratic Party and we’ll probably be in the same place all over again. I’m not going to jump on this bandwagon anytime soon. I’ll believe the rhetoric when I see some results. All I can say is the next two years should be quite interesting.

2) And in lieu of the Democrats recent victory, I’m convinced Donald Rumsfeld was fired. They can say whatever they wish when they address the public during press conferences, but we all know the real deal. Again, that idiot did not resign he was FIRED!!!

3) There really is no need to start worrying about who’s going to run for President in 2008. We need to focus on the here and now. Besides, whoever inherits the mess that the Bush administration has left behind will have their work cut out for them. I’ll be praying for them.

4) I was so happy to see the recent pictures of Whitney Houston at the 17th Carousel of Hope Ball. She looks amazing. I really hope (as I’m sure many others do) that she pulls through this time. Getting away from Bobby may be just what she needs to do it. And good news for all Whitney Houston fans is she’s already in the studio working on new music. And if all goes well, it will be another great triumph in her legendary career and yet another of the music industry’s greatest comebacks.

5) I don't know if it's just me or not but didn't you find many of the high profile, highly anticipated releases of the year been downright mediocre (at best)? Save for a few, I have not been impressed by much of the much released this year. What happened to R&B/Soul music this year? Where is Maxwell? Where is Musiq? Where is Erykah Badu? Where is Lauryn Hill? Has anyone seen D’Angelo? A few years ago, it seemed like everytime you turned around a new release by a major or up-and-coming artist was being released. Or maybe the industry is saving all the good stuff for the holiday shopping season.

6) Justin Timberlake should be very thankful and grateful to Timbaland for lending his creative genius to his latest release LoveSexy/FutureSounds. Cause he may not have had two number one hit songs (“SexyBack” and “My Love” feat. T.I.) out the box otherwise. And while we’re on the topic of JT.... It has to be said – Justin Timberlake did not bring sexy back. It never left!!!

7) And where are all of the male soul singers? Not these mediocre, Stevie Wonder, Michael Jackson wannabes that get played every five minutes---but the real soul singers. There’s Will Downing, Rahsaan Patterson, Urban Mystic, Jaheim, Kenny Lattimore, Gerald LeVert (RIP), and where do you go from there…. Many of the aforementioned artists don’t get airplay on top 40 or major urban stations. I guess there’s no interest in people with real talent and who make real music in the mainstream anymore.

8) Why do long distance relationships have to be so hard? I’ve been in a relationship for almost a year now (it’ll be a year in December). Of the time that we’ve been dating, we’ve been together physically in the same state for only four months. We are 5 time zones and several thousand miles apart. It’s really starting to get on my nerves. I can’t stand it! If I was thinking with my other head I could’ve said fuck it a while back and played the fields. But I don’t get down like that. And besides, I’m not trying to mess up a good thing. If anything, our time apart has helped the situation. It’s made things stronger. And our time of being apart is coming to close next month, right around our anniversary, and this time it will be for good. Thankfully, cause I don’t either of us would be able to stand being away from each other that much longer.

9) After getting my first big job after graduation and moving into my own place I’ve learned that being on your own is not easy. I’m beginning to see why so many people stay with their parents, live with or depend upon others for so long. And I now know what my mother meant when she would say she was broke and I would ask for something and she’d say we didn’t have any money for that.... She would tell me that what I was asking for was a want and not a need. If it didn’t have anything to do with keeping a roof over our head, food in our stomachs, and clothes on our backs, it wasn’t a priority. I don’t know that I understood it completely when I was little but I definitely understand it now. Budget, budget, budget!!!

10) After I finish traveling for work, I’ve convinced myself that I need to join a local gym and get back on my workout regimen. I’ve been off of it a few months and it is starting to show. And I’m not liking it one bit. I may go all out this time and get a trainer. I have some goals and I know what it is that I have to do but I do need some motivation. Eventually I’d like to have a home gym. I’ve got some space so it could work.

11) And sadly.... Rest in peace to two beloved people that we lost this week – Ed Bradley, a pioneer for Blacks in journalism and Gerald LeVert, one of the greatest soul singers/performers of his generation. They will truly be missed.

Buddah Returns

Damn.... I haven't made a post since August 12th.... I didn't know it'd been that long. Well, I'm back!!! Don't know for how long but I'm here nonetheless. Every so often you life takes you away from everything. It forces you to take a step back and appreciate, evaluate and just breathe!!! The last post I wrote a few days before I started my new job. I've been working for a little over two months. So far so good. No complaints. I haven't encountered any drama or met any people that I'd like to give a severe tongue-lashing to or cut (or both)... LOL! I've got plenty to do to keep me busy. And starting next week, my team will be traveling to a few regions to do some user testing on a few web applications that will roll out soon. It should be interesting I'm sure. And who can complain about free travel?

The only downer about my job is that my supervisor will be taking a new job in a different department after the New Year. Just when you're getting used to the way things work - change happens. And he was already in search of finding another analyst for the team. So that means we'll be looking for two new hires. Oh well... More to look forward to. As long as my supervisor gives me a good evaluation before he leaves or when my orientation/probation period is up (which ever comes first) - that's all that matters. Oh yeah, the orientation/probation period is six months. This is the longest I've ever had to endure a period of sorts. But the positives outweigh the negatives because you get more than enough time to get comfortable with your job, your team, and culture of the organization. Enough time to learn from your mistakes, prove yourself, and impress the people that approve the timesheets.

What else has happened? I moved into my own place almost three weeks ago. So I'm really feeling grown now. Oh the bills! NOT FUN! LOL! It's going to be a little tight through the holidays but the most important thing is that I have a roof over my head, food in my belly, and clothes on my back. I'm slowly but surely making touches of me into my new home. I figure I should be fully acclimated by the time my orientation/probation period is up - which is around my birthday, mid February. Maybe then I can throw a little house warming party. Mmmm....

I'm halfway through Juan Williams's book Enough: The Phone Leaders, Dead-End Movements, and Culture of Failure That Are Undermining Black America--and What We Can Do About It. An excellent, very well written book. It's a must read. I'm also loving Janet's 20 Y.O., Monica's The Makings of Me, Amos Lee's Supply and Demand, Natalie Cole's Leavin', The Brand New Heavies Get Used To It, Ben Harper's Both Sides of the Gun, India.Arie's Testimony, Vol. 1, Life and Relationship, and George Benson & Al Jarreau's Giving It Up.

That's about it for now. I better continue to listen out for the door. My new furniture is supposedly on the way. I had to take off today so it better be here TODAY. I don't want to unleash the hounds but if I have to I will.... LOL! Until next time, peace, love and many blessings!

Getting Ready for the DC Takeover!

In just a few days, I'll be on a plane headed back to my beloved DC. I can't wait! Most of my stuff is already on its way home. Just got to pack my bags for the plane and do the last round of trash and cleanup and it's a wrap. I'm very excited. But all of this is kind of surreal. It always seems like everything major in my life happens so fast. I barely have enough time to get acquainted after moving so quickly from one thing to the next. But I'm going into this new phase with a clear, open mind and a positive attitude. I'm sure everything will be fine. And if anything crazy pops up, I'll find a reasonable way to handle.

This move is kind of bittersweet too. Visiting places in the area I would frequent--knowing that this would be the last time (or last visit for awhile) that I would be present. I'm leaving a place that I've spent a significant period of time in. It was an environment that fostered so much knowledge, wisdom, and growth--mentally, physically, socially, and personally. I've met so many great people--many of which who've become very good friends, mentors, and great social contacts. I've had the experience of rising, falling, and rising again. After all that I've endured, I feel like I'm ready to face whatever may come my way. I've certainly come into my own up here in Rochester, NY aka Da ROC.

But Da ROC is also a place that I've despised too.... Any chance I was given to get away, believe me, it was taken without hesitation! The lack of sunlight. Feeling like you're buried under an artic tundra with all of this snow, sleet and freezing rain. The difficulty of finding something of interest to do when you're bored (not a problem in DC). The pain of everything closing so early (definitely not a problem in DC). Poor public transportation system (not to worry about in DC either). All the unnecessary drama and bullshit you have to go thru to get the degrees. Wankstas and fake thugs (this is a problem not limited to Da ROC I know).... Though it's hard to admit, I'll miss this place. Now it's time to start the next phase of life in a familiar city. But the difference will be experiencing it, this time, all on my own.

Hope you've recovered from the serious meltdown that occured this week. It was hotter than a witch's coochie outside. I was out for a little bit and hurried my ass back inside so I could get to the AC! This is not my weather. If the craziness of the weather conditions isn't a sign of things to come then I don't know what is. Oh well, it's 2 in the morning. I need to get ready for my date with the pillow. I've been seriously lacking in the sleep department. With work starting in another week, I have to make sure I get as many hours in as I can (sleeping on the job is not an option).

Have a wonderful weekend!

BuddahDesmond's Rapture - 1st Anniversary!!!

Wow.... I’ve been blogging for one year. Time sure does have a way of escaping you. So much has happened. Where to begin? Well, I successfully completed all of the classes for my masters and graduated. I started writing as a music reviewer for my school magazine and for my friend Lily's online magazine Pictures and Frames (I’ve been on a hiatus though due to school and trying to find my first real job). I received several certificates and rewards for the time, service and contributions I've made to my school over the last six years. I've grown so much closer to many members of my family and to friends. I've found a new love (going strong for eight months now). After almost six years, I cut off my dreads. And I've begun the ongoing mission of freeing myself from all the things that used to tie me down. I know I've probably forgotten some things but that's a pretty good summary.

As for the next phase, let's see.... Continuing on with my mission of physical fitness (not only losing weight but striving to be healthier in general). Starting my new job as an Application Systems Analyst in the next three weeks (I'm excited)! I get to go back home. (You know, it doesn't matter where you go or how long you stay there. Nothing beats home.) Finding and then moving into my own apartment. Continuing to write one (if not both) of the novels I've been neglecting. As always more poetry. Hopefully some performances in and around the DC area. Making some new friends, catching up with some old ones. And becoming a better blogger. And whatever else comes up. Oh yeah, and I can't forget about this one.... Taking a real vacation--away from everything (I don't even want to take my laptop, let alone my cellphone).

You know I've actually been so busy that I missed the true one-year anniversary of my blog.... The real date was July 10th.... But as they say, it's better late than never! A celebration is a celebration! Oh well, sleep calls.... Got to go to the gym in the morning!

Hot Summertime Fun, Peace and Love to all!

You Ain't Got No Home Buddah!!!

Funny as it sounds, that's how it feels. Traveling, traveling. It's a good thing. But it's very tiring. In the last two-and-a-half months, I've been to Seattle, Montreal, DC, San Jose/Mountain View, and Rochester. Mostly for job interviews. I went to Montreal for a week in April to attend the SIGCHI Conference on Human Factors in Computing Systems (more about that later).

I'm heading back to DC for another job interview next week (YAY I get to go home!). Then back to Rochester. And the following week I may be heading to Pittsfield, MA for another interview. It's crazy. As soon as I drop my bags and get comfortable it's time to pack those bags and board the plane again!

As I mentioned above, I had the opportunity to attend the SIGCHI Conference on Human Factors in Computing Systems in Montreal back in April. This is the annual conferernce for the Human Computer Interaction community. For those who are wondering, Human Computer Interaction (or HCI) is a field of computing which focuses on the interaction between people and computers. One of its main goals is to improve the interaction between people and computers by developing computing systems that efficient, effective, easy to use, and easy to understand. And most importantly, that computing systems meet the needs of the people who use them. It's a multidisciplinary field that depends heavily on computer science, information science, cognitive science, anthropology, ergonomics, psychology, and sociology to name a few.

At the conference, there were several presentations, workshops, courses, and discussions devoted to recent innovations and developments within the HCI community. It was a wonderful experience for networking and learning about what other students, researchers, and practitioners are doing in the field. I was one of several student volunteers there. And I had a blast! Got to party a little bit. Got to meet a lot of new people. And I got to talk with several employers about possible job opportunities in their HCI departments. I even got to attend hospitality events in some of the local hotels sponsored by employers such as Microsoft, Google, eBay, and IBM. The Conference is held in a different location each year and usually lasts about five days. Next year it will be in San Jose, CA. I'd really love to go next year. But it all depends upon the money! I guess if I start saving now, I might be able to make it.

Other than that, I'm chillin' like a villain up in Da ROC. I've been listening to a lot of Chaka Khan and Phyllis Hyman lately. They are two of my all-time favorite vocalists. Both of whom I've been listening to and loving since I was very young.


Chaka Khan recently received a Lifetime Achievement Award at the BET Awards. Much deserved and long overdue if you ask me. I've been bumping the following albums: Chaka, I Feel For You, Come 2 My House, Classikhan, The Best of Rufus & Chaka Khan, and Epiphany: The Best of Chaka Khan, Vol. 1. Word on the street is that she's been working with Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis on a new album. Sounds like it's going to be hot! I'll be first in line to get it when it drops.


Phyllis Hyman is yet another consummate artist who never received the acclaim and accolades she rightly deserved. I've been playing the following over and over again: Phyllis Hyman, You Know How To Love Me, Living All Alone, The Prime of My Life, and The Legacy of Phyllis Hyman. It would be nice if she were inducted into the Grammy Hall of Fame or received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame even. (If Britney Spears has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, why not?) Though she's no longer with us, her legacy continues to live on. Now that I think of it, it would also be nice if Arista/BMG would re-release all of her earlier albums from 1977 - 1983. There's no doubt in my mind that there's an audience out here who craves them. I wrote a poem in tribute to Phyllis a few years back. Since her birthday is approaching, I may put it up. She would've been 57 this year.

Until later, hope you all have a great weekend!

I'se Graduated Now!!!

Yes, yes. May 27, 2006 marked the close of another chapter along this journey. I graduated with my Masters in Information Technology. It was truly a remarkable thing. The weight of it all didn't hit me until the Dean of our college began speaking. I was saying to myself - this is really a big deal. Especially being the first male in my family to graduate with a Bachelors and a Masters from college. And being one of a small number of black males graduating from my school's computing college adds to that. It hasn't been easy. It's been a struggle from day one. But I kept striving. Kept moving. Kept pushing on. And the next chapter will mark the beginning of the reward for all of this hard work. One thing's for sure, I definitely didn't do it on my own. I am truly grateful for the love and support from my family, friends, mentors, professors, supervisors, and others along the way. And I'm ready to give back to the community that's given so much to me. It is my turn to be the model, the inspiration, the reality check, the supporter, the mentor to those coming after me. It's only right.

Graduation weekend was beautiful yet very bittersweet. You find that so many people you've become close with were heading down the same road. And now, it's time for closure. For the road you were traveling down is going to become quite different. But before all the final goodbyes, you know you've got party one last time (and there was plenty of that)!

After graduation, I went home for a few weeks. Chilled with the fam, enjoyed some good food and got some much needed rest. I also had the pleasure of singing at two of my dearest friends' wedding. I did my rendition of John Legend's "So High." I received a great deal praise (my friends keep telling me that their families and friends won't stop talking about how good my performance was). I was just happy to take part in the commemoration and celebration of their love. The wedding was a beautiful introduction to the journey that they will taking together. I wish them well.

I've been back in Rochester, NY for the last few weeks. Where I'll be until I start working most likely. I do have some things to wrap up - the main one being my grad project. Remember - it was supposed to be a thesis. But during the fourth week of spring quarter - it had to be changed to a somewhat unrelated grad project. So I had to go back and do everything all over again. Yeah, I know.....It sucks. Once this is done, I can sever all ties to student life. The sooner the better. I'm also interviewing and waiting to hear back about jobs. Such a long, drawn out process. I had no idea it would be this involved. But I shall not worry. Something good will come along!

Oh goodness....This post is getting kinda long. I guess this is what happens when you don't keep your blog updated regularly. I've got a little bit of extra time on my hands now, so I'm hoping to alleviate that issue. Until next time - live, love and learn!

If....

I've been tagged by ProfessorGQ. These were some pretty cool questions. Check out my answers below.

If you were to be the opposite sex for one day, what would you do?
I would be a gold digger and have men cater to my every need. LOL!

If you had to name the most difficult thing about being a teenager today, what would you say?
Trying to be yourself in a world where people expect you to conform.

If you had to name the most embarrassing moment of your life, when was it?
There have been several of those. The one that sticks out the most is -- when I was in the seventh grade, in the lunch room. I was just coming back to the table with my lunch. Sitting directly in front of me were two of my friends. They were fighting over a carton of chocolate milk. Before I could get my grub on, I found myself covered in--you guessed it--chocolate milk. I stormed out of the lunch room and to the nearest bathroom for damage control. I was so pissed! It was a shame too cause I was looking real fly that day.

If you had to name the most overrated actor in Hollywood, who would it be?
Tom Cruise - really can't stand him. I still can't get over the fact that that they allowed him to play a samurai. He is not worthy.

If you had to name the one personality trait that you have tried the hardest to change in yourself, what would you say?
Being a perfectionist. It has its positives, but definitely has its negatives. Sometimes you just got to say fuck it!

If you could go back for one minute to the Garden of Eden and give Adam advice, what would you say?
Yo dawg, you need to watch Eve. She about to set you up.

If you were to name the best "I told you so" you ever got to deliver, what was it?
Oh boy! I told one of my good friends that he needed to stop trying to play his ex-girlfriend, especially after a not-so-good break-up. He was still trying to talk to her, while talking to his new girl. I told him you need to stop thinking with the head between your legs and start thinking with the head attached to your neck. Cause if she finds out that you're trying to play her, that's your ass. Well, she found out (and she told the new girl what was going on). And let's just say he had to lay low for awhile.

If you were Madonna, what would you do for your next publicity stunt?
How about nothing??!! She needs to keep it chill before she gets another hernia. BOW OUT!!!

If you could have a lifetime 50% discount in any single store at your local mall, which store would it be in?
Only one store....Not fair! Okay, I guess it'll have to be Abercrombie & Fitch.

If you could have one more pet, what kind would you get, and what would you name it?
It would be a dog, a pug, and I'd name it Tamar.

If you could have God perform one miracle today, what would you want it to be?
Finding a cure for HIV/AIDS.

If you could spend next New Year's Eve doing anything, what would you do, and with whom.
I'd spend it with my baby, DP, in the Bahamas.

If you were to set your country's immigration policy, what would it be?
If you're illegal and you get caught out there, you've got to go! There are no exceptions.

If you were given the power to settle the issue of gays in the military, what policy would you set?
It's not an issue. If you want to serve your country, it should be your right just like anything else. Sexual orientation shouldn't be a hinderance.

If you could have one person you have lost touch with call you up tonight and invite you to dinner, who would you want it to be?
It would have to be with one of my best childhood friend's Larry. It's a shame that we've lost not once, but twice.

If you could change one thing about your love life, what would it be?
The fact that it's long distance and there's a six hour time difference. Maybe I should be happy it's only for a few more months.

If you could have prevented one book from ever having been written, which book would it be?
Hands down it's On the Down Low: A Journey into the Lives of 'Straight' Black Men Who Sleep With Men by J. L. King.

If you have to name the best music album ever recorded, which would you select?
This is a tough one. There are too many to choose from. Okay, okay....Marvin Gaye's What's Goin On?

If you could have one thing made out of pure gold, what would you choose?
Though I've got a few more months to go (thankfully), I'd have to say my master's degree from college.

If God were to whisper one thing in your ear, what would you like Him to say?
You've successfully completed your journey. You've loved, shared, cared, inspired, assisted, led, learned, and lived. You've made me proud. Now it's time for you to come home. Welcome!

Thesis....It's a Bad Word!

Wassup ya'll! Hope all is well. I've been away from my blog a lot longer than I anticipated. The life of a grad student - craziness!

I'm this close to banishing the word "thesis" from my vocabulary. I wish someone would've told me that I would run into this much drama trying to get this thesis done. I've changed so many things in the last two months that it's ridiculous. I have three professors on my committee and they all seem to want something different. They all have a different idea of what it is that I should be doing. This is what's been creating a bit of a problem for me. I will be having a meeting with all of them soon to ensure that we are and will continue to remain on the same page. I'm nipping this shit in the bud! As I've been talking to my friends and other students who are working on their graduate theses and projects, I keep hearing a lot of horror stories about this process. Something that begins as your own creation or something that you want to do turns into being what your committee members want you to do. They end up having the final say on everything. If they like it, you graduate. If they don't like it, you have to make the changes and defend it until it meets their approval. If you're in the BS/MS program at my school and you fall in the latter category, both of your degrees can and will be held up because of this. It seems like all the power and control is in everyone else's hands but your own. But I'm determined to win this. I'm getting mines!

Aside from school, I've been seeing someone for about four months now. For the most part, everything has been wonderful. We've had a few arguments and have pissed each other off a few times. But in any relationship, it's expected. We've been able to work through it and not let it destroy what's currently building between us. I think some of it has to do with the fact that we both have strong personalities always vying for attention and total domination. All we can do is laugh about it now. It looks very promising though. I am happy. After being single for almost two years, it's nice to have someone in my corner. I forgot how good that feel.

Rest in Peace Octavia Butler. The first black woman of prominence in the literary world of Science/Speculative Fiction. You were truly one of the greats. We will miss you. But your spirit will live on in the beautifully written, multi-faceted, groundbreaking stories you've shared with us. I'll be finishing Bloodchild and Fledgling over spring break.

That's about it for now. Thesis, music reviews, articles and the continued hunt for a job are upon the horizon. Until later....Take Care!

And So Went The Dreads: The Rundown for 2006

After talking about it for sometime, I finally did it—I cut off my dreads. I did it over winter break. I went back to my old high school barber and it was a wrap! What a liberating feeling it was to release all of the energy held within. There was a bit of sadness, but not for long. It happened so fast, I really didn’t have ample time to cry over lost dreads. Guess I have to get used to going to the barbershop every two-three weeks again.

Many have asked why I decided to do it. Well, after about six years, I decided that it was time to try something new. Even after telling people this, some still assumed that something must have happened in my life (something life-changing or bad) to make me cut my hair. I will admit that there’s been a lot going on in my life. However, it had nothing to do with the cutting of my hair. It’s a new year. It’s time for change. I guess I just don’t place as much value in hair as many others do. There’s more to me than how I choose to wear my hair (too bad many can’t grasp this). Like India.Arie, “I Am Not My Hair.” Plus it’s easier to manage. I can wear a greater variety of hats (which I’ve been doing a lot lately since I tend to get cold more now than ever). I’ve also been getting more compliments with short hair than I did when it was long. So this brotha is still turning heads! I’m not one to brag, but when you’re fine—you’re fine.

Well, besides the new hair cut, I’ll be working to lose about 30 pounds. I have what many have told is football player’s build. Probably would’ve been a good Running Back. My mission is to slim down and tone up. Gotta get right for the summer! Also on slate for ’06, letting go/getting rid of baggage and avoiding drama at all costs. I’ve also need to work on staying in better touch with friends. I have tendency to fall of the face of the Earth when there’s a lot going on my life. I will shut people out, but not purposely. I guess I didn’t really pay too much attention to this until recently. The people that mean the most should be the last people to shut out of your life, especially when the journey gets a little rough. So I’m going to try really hard to rectify my fascination with pulling the disappearing act.

Other goals include finishing my thesis (topic: blogging in higher education), graduating with my masters, and finding a great job/fellowship somewhere outside of Upstate New York. After attending school in Rochester, NY for the last six years I’m praying for a drastic location change. Anywhere but here please! As always, I gotta keep writing, singing, performing, and creating artistic masterpieces. And we’ll see what the year has in store in the love department (so far so good)!

So that’s what’s on my plate for ’06. I’m looking forward to all that life has in store this year. May the year be fruitful and joyous for all!

Buddah's Back: It's Been Too Long!

I can't believe it's been over a month since I last made a post. It's amazing how quickly time can escape you. So what have I been up too? I'll tell you as succinctly as I can. Fall quarter ended on a crazy but a very high note. I got 2 A's and 2 B's. I have successfully completed all of my master's classes. Now on to the next daunting task....The Thesis! I'm in the process of finetuning my proposal for approval by my thesis committee and my department. I'm pushing to have it approved as soon as I come back from winter break. If I can get it approved before break that would be wonderful. But I'm not going to stress it. As for the topic, I'll be looking into the usage of weblogs in high school education. I've been doing a lot research to expand my literature review in my proposal. The findings have been pretty interesting thus far (more about that in a later post).

I've also been in the process of looking for a job. I've been slowly but surely applying, sending out resumes, attending job fairs and communicating with those I've come to know very well in my social network. People have been asking, "So what are you doing after graduation?" My response is, "If I knew the answer to that question I probably wouldn't be here now." For many that I know who are graduating in the spring, we are trying to get an answer to that very question ourselves. If you weren't fortunate enough to be offered a job from the last place you interned/co-oped, you'll most likely get word of job/fellowship offers in late winter/early spring. I've also been asked if I was going to stay at my current school and get my Ph.D. I said, "Hell No!" First of all, it's time to go. I've been at this school for almost six years. It's been nice--it's been real--but I'm ready to go! Second of all, a Ph.D is so far from my mental scope right now. I'll probably get another master's degree before I go that route. Third of all, can a brotha get a break? I'm so tired of school right now. Thank god I finished with my classes when I did. I had three four-hour evening classes and one online class. I don't think I could stand another quarter let alone full year of that again . I'm ready to go out and work. Once I become fully acclimated with the workworld, there's no guarantee that I'll still be in love with the computing field. It'll be better to find this out sooner than later. In this life you never know how it's going to turn out. But whatever is to come my way, I'm going to stay optimistic. I'm looking forward to it. Whatever is to come my way, I'm going to accept it and embrace it with open arms.

Oh well, I guess I better get back to work. I haven't been feeling too well today. Actually, it's something that's been on-again, off-again for the last five days or so. All I'm gonna say is allergies (and upper-respiratory issues) are a bitch! Research is calling my name. Plus, I have to finish getting ready for a meeting I have to lead Monday night about the evolution of music videos over the last two decades. This will be for Emerging Black Artists, the club I'm a student advisor for. Between work, the thesis, meetings and dates (Am I dreaming? Could it be? Yes, dates--it's about time!), it's going to be yet another busy week. Oh yeah, I get my refund this week. And I get paid on Friday. Getting out of the poor house--it's a wonderful thing!

I'm going to try my best to post a little bit more regularly. The length of time between this and the next post shouldn't so long (I hope). Until then, I wish you all the best!

Rest in peace Richard Pryor (1940 - 2005).

The Best Thing, My Love

Ok, here's a poem I wrote back in high school (in the 11th grade to be exact). This one always seems to stand out. It's a trip when you go back and read your older works.

The Best Thing, My Love

It’s the
Pulsating rhythms of my heart
You give
The beating of drums of my pulse
I live
It’s the syncopated breaths that I breathe
It’s the ruckus of sound in my ears
You made leave
It’s that music you helped make of me
That 12/8 measure in my eyes
I see
I’m in love

It’s that explicit
Nature of your luscious lips
That carried that lyrical content
To my lips
That continuously rolls
Number one songs
For hour tolls
We sing tastes
Of albums haste
You made me play the piano with
My hands
You strum the guitar
Of my abs
My body is
The bass you play
By plucking or playing with
The bow-like fingers
On your hands
You are the best thing,
My love


© 1998 BuddahDesmond

Janet & The 18 Year Old Daughter Rumors

The media must have nothing better to do than mess with the Jackson clan. Need I say anything more. This time, it's not Michael, it's not Latoya, or Jermaine in the news....It's Janet. Rumors have surfaced yet again about her supposedly having a daughter from a previous marriage. Young DeBarge, 28, recently announced during an interview on the radio that Janet has an 18 year old daughter who's been staying with Rebbie, her oldest sister. Janet was married to one of Young's older brothers, James DeBarge for a hot minute back in the 80s. According to Young, "James and the Jackson family kept everything real close, real tight." Someone please tell me why is this anybody's business all of a sudden?

This is not the first time these rumors have surfaced. I remember these rumors surfacing in the early 90's when LaToya was airing out all of her's family's dirty laundry with her infamous autobiography. (She also acknowledged that Michael had been spending too much time with little boys--but this is another topic altogether.) If Janet and James had a baby and wanted to keep it a secret, it's their business. Now if the supposed daughter is just finding out that Janet and James are her real parents, then this sheds a different light on the situation. I couldn't imagine how detrimental this kind of info would be after living a certain kind of life for 18 years or more. It could rock your world. But it wouldn't be the first time or last time that something like this has happened. Drama like this happens everyday. It would be crazy to think that the Jackson's and the DeBarge's are the only families on this planet keeping secrets. Doesn't make it right, but please let's be realistic.

The supposed daughter is 18. She's grown. Let her and her family deal with this the best way they know how. Damn, can the Jackson's have any kind of peace??!!

And let us not forget that Young DeBarge (who released/rehashed this info) is an aspiring singer who just finished recording an album. Can I say publicity?

Regardless of whether Janet has children or not, I'm still going to buy her next record. So there! And after news like this, shit, it better be good!

On Marriage...

So many marriages are crumbling. Whether it’s people in the spotlight or people in our personal lives. Marriages currently seem to be more like short-lived excursions instead of life-long, fruitful journeys. At this rate, the only couple who looks like they’re going to make it is Whitney & Bobby. Recently, I told two of my friends (who’ll be tying the knot June 2006) if they end of like Babyface and Tracey Edmonds I’m going to cut them both. But seriously, where are the marriages/relationships like Ruby Dee & the late Ossie Davis? You know, marriages like our great-grandparents, grandparents and quite possibly our parents….When the love just seems to get stronger and stronger and the relationship seems to get better and better. When problems arise and they’re able to keep it civil, work it out and stay together….

Today, it seems like people are getting married for all the wrong reasons. Lust. Money. Security. Because a baby is on the way. Not because you want to but because it’s expected. First and foremost it’s supposed to be about love. At the same time, marriage is a business. Once you sign that contract, you’re making an arrangement between you, your spouse and the state (or government). Maybe this part is irrelevant. Then again maybe not. My point is this—why get married if your heart isn’t in it? Why make these arrangements or this commitment if this isn’t the person you truly love and desire? If you’re marrying only for security, what happens if it turns out to be a false sense of security? Marrying for children or because there is a child on the way doesn’t seem to be any better, especially if one (or both) of you has resignations about going thru with it. As we all should know, the children will be affected either way. Even more so if they have to endure unstable, hostile relations between parents who really don’t want or need to be together.

It should be a requirement that before you walk down that aisle, make sure he or she is the one. You also need to make sure you really know each other. There’s nothing worse than getting some unexpected surprises down the line. If there’s something you want or feel you need to know, you better ask! You need to discuss money, children, jobs, relocating, etc., before you jump over that broomstick. Because it’s so easy for any relationship to end, but it’s work if you want the relationship to last. If one person is trying and the other person fails to even make an attempt, you’re going to have some issues.

Another hot component to this discussion is the sanctity of marriage. But this typically comes up with yet another hot button issue—gay marriage. In all honesty, gay marriage is not going to burn down the house of holy matrimony. Newsflash everyone—the sanctity of marriage was already in jeopardy long before the gay marriage debate began. Take a look at TV today. When you have reality shows (really faux reality shows) like The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Who Wants to Marry My Dad?, Wife Swap, Trading Spouses, and the like, it signifies a big problem in our society with marriage. There are larger issues to consider when statistics say that marriages nowadays are more likely to end in divorce. How about considering many of the following questions: Why people don't stay together? Why people commit adultery? Why people lie? Why fewer people are deciding to get married? And just how does gay marriage threaten anyone’s idea of marriage? You're not directly influenced by it – especially if you’re involved in an altogether different relationship. So still, how does it affect you at all? And furthermore, what right does anyone have in invalidating another's relationship by saying their relationship is insignificant (because of their sexuality)? But I digress.

Maybe the other part of this discussion needs to be reconsidering whether a traditional relationship is right for you. You may not be a fan of traditional. You may want a relationship that’s a bit more radical. Possibly an open relationship. A committed relationship without the basis of monogamy. Or maybe you want the fruits of traditional marriage without all the hoopla. As far as I know, no correlations have been made specifically stating that relationships more often than not fail to endure if there’s been no exchange of rings or a formal ceremony. Marriage, the idea or the actual experience, is not for everyone. You may have to walk down the aisle a couple of times before you figure it out (sadly). But hey, that’s just how it goes.

With all the many wonderful things that we encounter and achieve in this life, isn’t it just nice to share them with someone you love? Someone that’s got your back. Someone that’s always going to be there. Someone you can have great conversations with, cuddle with, laugh with and cry with. Someone that you can rush home to each and every night.

Isn’t this the overall goal? Is it possible? Or is this just wishful thinking? I think that it is possible. But I can only go on what I’ve experienced, what I’ve been exposed to and what I believe. I sincerely hope that the forecast calls for brighter, lighter conditions on the marriage/relationship front for everyone.

What do you think?

The "Morally Reprehensible" William Bennett and Other Musings

By now, the name William Bennett should ring a bell. Bennett, the former Secretary of Education under the Reagan administration, made rather racist comments about reducing crime on his radio show not too long ago. If you haven’t heard the comments you must have been living in some kind of padded, soundproof cell. But just in case, Bennett said, "...you could abort every black baby in this country, and your crime rate would go down."

So tell us how you really feel….Anything else you want to throw out there to enlighten us? Go ahead, we’re all ears. We’re waiting. And people say racism no longer exists. What a crock! Bennett later went on to say that it "would be an impossible, ridiculous, and morally reprehensible thing to do ... but the crime rate would go down." What a contradiction. Maybe he would’ve fared better if he kept his mouth shut.

My question is this, why abort all the black babies? How is it that the crime rate will go down if all black babies are aborted and no other group of babies? It doesn’t make it right and I don’t support the argument either way, but if you insist to continue with the argument why not abort all babies (regardless of race) if you want to lower the crime rate. This is completely ludicrous! Comments like these prove just how disposable we are. Comments like these prove just how little respect and decency a significant portion of this society has towards black people. And to top it all off, very few if any members of the GOP (please correct me if I’m wrong) condemned Bennett for his comments. So that must mean that several other members of his party share similar beliefs. Or they don’t see anything wrong with the comments. This incident reminds me of the climate after some comments Vincente Fox, President of Mexico, made months back. [for more info, check here http://www.seeingblack.com/2005/x080305/mexican_stamp.shtml and here http://www.adl.org/international_affairs/letter_mexico.asp]

These incidents and the recent Hurricane Katrina tragedy (the rather tardy response of government officials and the presentation of the incident by the news media) go on to show that we still have serious racial and social class issues in this country. People try to push racism further under the rug or act like it no longer exists. However, it’s still ever present. Social class issues have never really been dealt with in this country at all. Meanwhile, the disparities between the races and within the races seem to grow wider and wider as the years progress.

Typically, the GOP is late (if ever present) to the table when issues of race are the top of the menu (not unless it addresses something that will impact them directly). Because we all know it’s about the haves and the have-nots. And if you fall in with the latter, the GOP wants little to nothing to do with you. Oh yeah, let me not forget to mention that the White House Press Secretary did issue a statement from Bush saying that Bennett’s comments were “inappropriate.” Wow, what a response! On the other hand, the Democrats responded promptly, demanding that Bennett apologize. Some even went as far to call for Bennett’s resignation from his radio show.

Historically, it’s members of the GOP who’ve made comments along the lines of Bennett. And when the shit hits the fan, they typically stick by their remarks, will not apologize, and will cry that they’ve been misquoted, misrepresented and misunderstood. When in actuality, they weren’t mis- anything. They were quoted, represented and understood quite well.

While everyone else drowns, several members of the GOP continue to swim to the top of the sea of bigotry, racism, social class disparities, inequalities and homophobia. Well it’s time for us to rise to the top and rid the sea of its pollution. Cause we’ve got a long way to go. It’d be wise to get the boxing gloves ready. It’s going to be long fight. And it won’t be ending early.

I’m interested in knowing your thoughts. What are your ideas, opinions, recommendations, etc., about what we as a community (and we as a society) need to do to get beyond this current demise?