Finding My Way Back

I'll never forget a particular meeting a group of peers and I had with the head of student affairs at my alma mater... During this meeting, she told us that roughly 80%-85% of people are unhappy with their careers.  Many of us were in shock after hearing this.  I thought to myself, "Wow. The remaining 15%-20% have it made. I want to end up in that group, not the 80%-85% group."  Years later, I found myself slowly drifting closer and closer towards the 80%-85% group.  Once I found myself fully submerged—I needed more than a white flag to save me.

Practicality lured me down this path.  Armed with good intentions, I thought I could make it work.  Honestly, I did.  But how can you when you're committing yourself to something that fails to hold your heart captive, no matter how hard or what you try?  I listened to the "wisdom" about going into a career (technology) that would provide a good living.  I was told that my dreams and what I wanted (a career in the arts/being a renaissance man) was lofty, unrealistic, and that I wouldn't/couldn't make  a living doing it.  So (unwillingly) I bought into to it.  It was a good lie for a few years.  But each time I got still, reality brought truth back home.

As I moved further away from my dreams, the more they haunted me.  I called this the true gift and curse about dreams, talents, and natural abilities.  The more you deny them, the stronger they become.  If you allow your dreams to die, a portion of you will die along with them.  As I found myself heading for crisis, my dreams were still very much alive.  I, however, was going deeper and deeper into denial.  I found myself saying, "There has to be another way.  There has to be.  Otherwise I want out."

Ever been in a situation that felt like a dream that you weren't supposed to be in?  You know, when everything (including the people) seems so unreal and untouchable and you don't quite fit?  That's how I felt.  It was the dream, a fantasy, that I should've awakened from sooner.  A fantasy that would eventually turn into a nightmare.  When the fantasy ended, so did my livelihood.

I was forced to get really real.  I had to find my way back to myself and all that I denied along the way.  Silly of me to believe the hype and allow external factors to influence decisions about my well-being and career.  Foolish of me to doubt myself and my talents and let my self-esteem and confidence suffer as a consequence.  How silly... So silly.

After years of neglecting yourself, you have to get back to you and heed your calling.  And that's what I've been doing.  While I know I've got a long way to go, it's not as long now that I've fully embraced me and all that I have to offer.

More to come!

Weekly Musings on Life & Personal Empowerment - Week 2

This week's musings are deal with life, and personal empowerment in particular.  It's so easy to lose self, especially when there's a lot at stake.  Have to remain grounded.  Have to know that who you are and what you bring to the table is enough.  If ever not, it's time to go to another table. 

1. You can plan your life all you want.  But you’d be a fool to think that everything in this life will always go as planned.  You know that you’re truly living when you can get through the parts of life that were not part of “the plan.”


2.  For one who’s lived a life where all they’ve ever heard was “yes,” the true test of their character comes after hearing their first “no.”


3. The less time you spend worrying about what’s wrong with others and how to change them, the more time you can devote to working on and changing yourself.  The power lies in changing you first and foremost.  Work to make a better you.


4. Talk, especially when coming from people in positions of power, is nothing without meaning, purpose, and action.  Yes, it may sound good.  Yes, it may be full of passion and promise.  But without the substance of planning and actual work, talk fails on all the things that matter.


5. Always look to the things that bring you joy and lift your spirit.  You’ll find comfort, motivation, inspiration, and reassurance in them during times of doubt, confusion, disappointment, need, and loss.


6. When you’ve given or done your best—and you know that you have—there’s really nothing more anyone can ask of you.


7. We all have to make choices and compromises in this life.  But dimming your light or changing yourself for the sake of others should never be one of them. Stand proudly and firmly in your light.  Your light is what makes you unique.