Spirit Women

"Sisters in Spirit" by Synthia SAINT JAMES.

Spirit women,

Singing songs for the world,

Baring gifts for our hearts and souls;

Moving nations,

Changing minds,

Fueling enough power to shift our place in time.

Spirit women,

Rich with love, wisdom, and experience;

Exposing your scars,

Standing in strength,

Encouraging forgiveness,

And enlightening minds on the importance of letting go—

     so our souls can be free.

Spirit women,

Natural humanitarians;

We're grateful for you and your gifts.

We've found blessings in your blessings,

And relish in the deep connections we share with you.

 

Spirit women—

When we honor you we honor ourselves

     And our collective beauty.

Spirit women—

We celebrate you eternally.

© 2013 BuddahDesmond

Until Then...

When you’re screaming out
And the one you need the most still doesn’t hear you—
Your voice continues to blare and wail like a trumpet;
Hopeful that one day your tune will be heard, loved, and understood.

When you’re giving the monologue your all
And the audience from which you thrive doesn’t see you—
You don’t leave the stage; the drama continues to pour from you—
Hopeful that one day your act will be seen, acknowledged, and reviewed.

When you’re fighting against injustice
And the opposition turns the other cheek—
You don’t stop the movement; the message is a relentless battle cry—
Hopeful that one day your fight will lead to equality, freedom, and justice.

When I couldn’t reach you
I gave every tactic equal opportunity for the chance of change.
I sought your love and approval at life’s every whim.
Even when disappointed or rejected—optimism persisted—

Hopeful that one day you would come around.

Well, it’s been years—
And you still haven’t come around.
I’ve all but given up.
Hope remains everything but strong.
Guess it’s time now that I finally move on.

If you want to be in my life,
You’ll make it known.
But until then…

© 2013 BuddahDesmond

The Ironic State of Black Men in Society (from 'Prevail')

During the Spoken Word Hour at the Baltimore Urban Book Festival this past Sunday, 7/14/13, I recited "The Ironic State of Black Men in Society" from the "Life" section of Prevail.  I thought it quite fitting considering recent events.  Video of the performance is forthcoming.

The Ironic State of Black Men in Society

Such complex, beautiful creatures:
Envied,
Despised,
Copied,
Immortalized,
Celebrated,
Yet condemned to damnation.

Often seen as failures, hoodlums, and vagabonds.
Rarely honored or acknowledged for the greater good they're doing for their
     families, their communities, and themselves. 
With that depiction in the media how could their outlook not be gloomy?
But that's only if you aren't hip to the real T of their plight.

For some strange reason, in the larger society, it is hard for them to be accepted
     as intelligent, honorable, responsible beings in areas outside of entertainment.
And when this perspective of them is challenged, it's met with all kinds of
     resentment, distrust, doubt, and downright hatred
Anytime reality trumps perception the masses can't seem to handle it.

And when they happen to be seen in a positive light, and something happens to
     them, or they are accused of an action that casts a negative light on the initial
     impression,
They are immediately baited for the wolves.
Regardless of proven guilt or innocence, they’ve already been placed into the
     proverbial jail,
Never to be redeemed or forgiven.
They are made to pay for their misgivings and backfires—whether intended
     or not, whether guilty or not—for several lifetimes over.
Even after death, vindication is not promised, if ever granted,
’Cause the fickleness of society will not enable a shift in feeling, right, judgment,
     or frame of mind.

The road to justice and finding a relevant, truthful place for black men in this
     world does not seem possible in any of our lifetimes.
While the imagery and experiences are not, and will not, always be positive,
The belief that black men are no good is ever prevalent.
What has happened, unfortunately, to their plight has many causes and fingers
     that can be pointed at many places.
But the realness, the truth, and the change begin within.
Just because you've been denigrated to a certain caste in the world
Does not mean that you have to accept it or embrace it as your own.
Defy what stood before you;
Challenge what you've walked into.
Create something better to live on, and impact those coming after you.
That's where your power lies.
There's no guarantee that it'll change minds,
But people will take note.

As long as you define who you are,
and continue to build yourself and your people up,
redemption is guaranteed.
There's no need to seek the approval or consent of the outsiders.

© 2012 BuddahDesmond

"The Ironic State of Black Men in Society" is featured in the "Life" section of Prevail: Poems on Life, Love, and Politics. Prevail is available at iUniverse, Amazon (Paperback | Hardcover | Kindle), Barnes & Noble, Book-A-Million (Paperback | Hardcover), and other retailers.

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Weekly Musings on Life, Love, and Politics - Week 13

Image courtesy of the IISC Blog.

Greetings!  Hope everyone is well.  Here's the latest batch of weekly musings on life, love, and politics:

1. What's on the surface can fool you... For it may be in stark contrast with what lies beneath.


2. There's a rare breed of folk who are unresponsive to "normal" methods of communication.  You have to get down to their level to truly reach them.  Sometimes this involves getting out of character, i.e. being overly aggressive, shouting, cussing, and carrying on...  In all honesty, isn't it a shame if you have do all of this to reach common ground with others?


3. Give people and things a chance.  Don't be so quick to give up on them before they've had the opportunity to prove you wrong.  Let the judgment go.  Give in a little, you just might be surprised.


4. If you can't find the hero within, the chances are minimal that you'll find the hero anywhere else.


5. The heart is resilient.  It can overcome anything.  But not when we put roadblocks in its path to healing.  Release the pain and let your heart lead the way.


6. A country can't call itself "land of the free" when all of it's people aren't free.  A country's failed itself and its people when conditions are put on human rights or when they are not granted or available to all.  Granting these rights to some but not all further perpetuates inequality, injustice, and inferiority, and blocks any chances of real progress.  

Until next time... Peace, Love, and Many Blessings, BuddahDesmond

Free (from 'Prevail')

I want to be free.
I want to feel free.
I want to be able to
fly and soar freely,
without limitations.

I want to be me—
the complete me,
not the PC version,
or the edited version
intended for major mainstream and retail consumption.
It’s not to offend.
It’s about letting loose,
being in my element
without worry, care, or defense,
because I haven’t found that place yet.

I’m still trying to find that
place where I can feel at home.
But when I find it
I’ll know.
I’ll be so comfortable and carefree,
So magnificently me
That I almost won’t be able to stand myself.
That’s when I’ll be whole.

When I find it I’ll be more than content.
That’s when I can be me—
unadulterated, unedited and unscripted.
Yes, that’s when I’ll be free.

© 2012 BuddahDesmond 

"Free" is featured in the "Life" section of Prevail: Poems on Life, Love, and Politics. Prevail is available at iUniverse, Amazon (Paperback | Hardcover | Kindle), Barnes & Noble, Book-A-Million (Paperback | Hardcover), and other retailers.    

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Happy 1st Anniversary to 'Prevail'!

  
Wow, it's been one year since I published my first book Prevail: Poems on Life, Love, and Politics.  I still recall the happiness and sense of accomplishment I felt holding Prevail in my own hands for the first time.  Prevail represents a dream come true.  I stuck to my guns and made it happen.  Not without a lot of support though.  I couldn't have done it without those (my spouse, family, friends, and mentors) who've encouraged me along the way.  

It was a rocky journey making the dream happen.  If I'd listened to all the things people told me—that I wasn't good enough, that I didn't fit the mold, that I didn't do things the traditional way (as if that's something wrong)—I wouldn't have this book or anything else published.  I wouldn't be working on my next book.  I would've stopped writing... I would've stopped doing a lot of things.  But I didn't.  I persevered.  Yet I know there's still much more to do.  More dreams to achieve.  Still more to learn.  More platform building to do.  Many more people to connect and build genuine relationships with.  More outreach.  And I welcome it all.

As I say in the introduction of Prevail, "We never know what's coming to us in this life, but we do know that if we get through it—whatever it is—we will be better, stronger, and wiser. No matter what, we know we must prevail."  

Thank you for your support!  Until next time... Peace, Love, and Many Blessings, BuddahDesmond

Prevail is available at iUniverse, Amazon (Paperback | Hardcover | Kindle), Barnes & Noble, Book-A-Million (Paperback | Hardcover), and other retailers.

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Nothing But Love
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Happily Ever After?
Desperation
Gone Too Soon

Weekly Musings on Life, Love, and Politics - Week 12

Image courtesty of Mandalas by Veeno

It's time for another helping of BuddahDesmond's musings on life, love, and politics. Check 'em out!

1. Don't let the world of "NO" sway you on your way to the world of "YES." The break you've been working towards, the opportunity you've been praying for, the chance to SHINE is coming! Hold on!


2. There is a fire that burns inside of each of us. It's passionate energy that we can wield in both positive and negative ways. Sometimes we forget about our fire...we forget about the greatness that lies within. And we lose sight of why we're here, what we're fighting for, and what we're ultimately working towards. Don't lose your fire. Be cognizant of it. Be mindful of it. Learn from it. Will it lovingly and admirably. As Sonia Sanchez says, "Catch the fire and burn with eyes that see our souls: WALKING. SINGING. BUILDING. LAUGHING. LEARNING. LOVING. TEACHING. BEING... Catch the fire...and live." (Influences: Sonia Sanchez - Catch The Fire)


3. Sometimes things are only complicated and complex because we make them that way. When this happens, it may be best to fall back, breathe, reassess, and look for ways to avoid fortuitous complications. At all costs—keep it simple!


4. Only takes a few mini-scandals to divert attention from the real issues plaguing a nation. Depending on the severity, yes—time and resources may be needed to rectify the matters related to a mini-scandal.  However, they also seem to give our officials unnecessary reasons to play politics, continue pointing fingers and drag their feet on major issues that they've been neglecting. As some will say, "Any excuse..."


5. There's nothing wrong with being meticulous. This trait can do wonders for us (and others) in many personal and professional situations. But this trait backfires when it begins to hinder our progress, especially when working with others. We have to know when it's best to cut our losses and let things fall where they may. We must realize that we cannot afford to let ourselves be ruled or get carried away with the details (all the time). 


6. When we pamper our passions they will be good to us. Just wait and see!

Until next time... Peace, Love, and Many Blessings!

~ BuddahDesmond

Rejection isn't My BFF, But I've Learned From It (And 6 Tips to Get Over It)

Rejection is like the friend no one ever wants to invite out because they either bring everyone down or they make everyone viciously angry.  So we keep them at bay.  But then the party of the year comes and they somehow manage to crash it.  They have a grand ole time and somehow we're left in the tracks of our own tears.  Probably not alone when I say no one wants to be BFFs with rejection.

My earliest memories of rejection stem from my relationship with my father.  When I look back, I wish I could say that my mind wreaks of more fond memories with him.  But sadly, I can't.  My father was not around as much as he could or should have been.  Thinking back, there were many times he said he was going to call, visit, or take me out so we could spend quality time together and nothing ever transpired.  My mother and I heard a whirlwind of excuses.  So many promises, all empty and broken.

One particular time, my father had seemingly gone out of his way to plan to stop by so we could hang out.  I believe I was in the eleventh grade at the time and we were off from school.  I was excited because it had been some time since I'd last seen or heard from him.  So on this particular day, I got ready and waited.  Waited.  And waited.  One hour, two hours, three hours go by, and my father still hasn't shown up.  I'm calling and calling.  No answer.  There I was, disappointed, rejected... Sitting by the window, crying, hoping that my father wouldn't leave me hanging like this (again).  

He never came.  Another empty, broken promise.  More excuses.  It was a record I'd heard all my life and I wanted its opportunities for airplay revoked forever.  From that day forward I vowed that that would be the last time I would be left crying—sitting, waiting by the window or the phone for my father (or anyone for that matter). 

I'd be lying if I said this didn't have any long-lasting impact on my life.  The rejection I felt from my father made me feel as if I was to blame...  That I wasn't good enough or deserving.  From this stemmed many of my insecurities, self-doubt, low self-esteem, confidence, my shyness, and my inability to let down my guard and trust.  After a certain age, I realized I was allowing it to hold me back from truly being me and going after what I wanted.  I also realized I was angry with my father, his not being around... And I was angry with myself for being affected by it for so long.  But I had to let it go.  I had to realize that I was not to blame for whatever my father was going through.  He has his reasons for why he wasn't there.  He made his choices and he has to deal with them.  I cannot hold myself responsible for his actions or others, especially when these actions don't stem from me.  I had to forgive and move on.

I've experienced rejection in a variety of other areas of life—love, relationships, work, school, and with many of my personal and professional interests.  Sometimes it didn't phase me.  Others, the pain from rejection was damn near debilitating.  In the past year, I've lost count of how many times I've heard "NO" after going after various opportunities.  But "YES" was never too far behind. 

Rejection is just as normal an occurrence as sunlight in the morning and moonlight at night.  It's inescapable.  It's unavoidable.  It's timing is impeccable.  And while there's nothing we can do to block its way, there's plenty we can do to avoid its lingering effects.

1. Never lose sight of who you are.  No matter what happens or what anyone says, you must know who you are.  You must remain true to yourself and be steadfast in your convictions.  Be strong.  Be confident.  Trust, know, and believe that you are good enough.  


2. Learn from rejection.  When rejection occurs, take a moment to look back at the situation and see if there are any takeaways.  Is there anything you can apply moving forward?  Were you really up on your game as much as you could've been?  Did you really give it your all or were you going with the motions?  Whatever you discover, do not beat yourself up about it.


3. Do not give up.  Don't allow rejection to ruin your course of action.  If you set out to achieve something, stick with it until it comes into fruition.  You've invested too much into yourself and your dreams to give up midstream.  If you don't try, if you don't continue with your pursuits—you'll never know the outcome. 


4. Find ways to keep yourself inspired.  The path to your dreams is one that will be filled with tremendous upheaval.  It won't be easy.  There are moments when your faith or belief may be tested—and it may wane.  If you can look to the many things in your life that get you hype, that build your optimism, and that constantly rehabilitate your faith and beliefs—you will push through.


5. Always look to better yourself.  When opportunities arise to increase your aptitude, jump at them (as long as they're feasible).  You may be really good or great where you are in your life, but you can always take it to the next level.  Look to those who're doing things you'd like to do and see what you can learn from their experiences.  If you so choose, reach out to them.  You just might find a mentor.  But it's crucial that you're ready when they call on you.


6. Maintain a strong support system.  Keep yourself grounded by people who know, love, care, respect, and appreciate you.  They should hopefully be people who are honest, considerate, and will build you up when they know you need it most.  No matter how good or great you are, you can never have too much support.  You can never have too many champions.  But be sure to pay back in kind what they've given you as you make your way.

We all will experience our share of rejection in this life.  But it's what we do with it that makes the difference in what happens afterward.  As writer Ray Bradbury said, "You have to know how to accept rejection and reject acceptance."  

Don't let rejection break you.  Let it strengthen you and your quest to be all that you've been destined to be.

Happily Ever After? (from 'Prevail')

You can make yourself as happy as can be.
But the happily-ever-after part—not too sure about that.
I think happily ever after is determined by fate, destiny, and the Creator.

So much of the happy ending is rooted in fairy tales.
After a certain stage in life, you realize that these fairy tales were fantasy at its 
     finest.
Everyone fawned over the fantasy life depicted in these unlikely tales.
But life would never be that,
And if real life could be like the fantasy—would you really want it?
Is there any promise that it will be happy?
It's a farce to believe so.
One day an event will occur that will disrupt the foundation you thought could 
     never be shaken.
It's like people who say they never have bad days and they can get along with 
     everybody.
How can you really be like that all the time?
That's not real;
That's not life;
That's not human.
I know for sure that I would not want to be around the quasi-real, always-happy 
     people when the shit hits the fan.
I'd want out immediately.
I'd be scared for all of us.
It'd give a whole new meaning to the saying, “That bitch just cracked up.”

In all seriousness, we can make the best and the worst out of our lives.
We can influence its mood, tone, and character.
We are, after all, the main players, and we hope—one of the writers in the 
     screenplay of our lives.
We have power, but to a point.
We can create the plot and bring about a tremendous amount of drama,
But we cannot surmise how it will end.
What we can do is live like we've never lived in this world before,
Love like our hearts will burst if otherwise,
Be what we need for ourselves, those around us, and those coming up behind 
     us.
The rest—I do believe—is left to fate, destiny, and the Creator.

© 2012 BuddahDesmond 

"Happily Ever After?" is featured in the "Life" section of Prevail: Poems on Life, Love, and Politics. Prevail is available at iUniverse, Amazon (Paperback | Hardcover | Kindle), Barnes & Noble, Book-A-Million (Paperback | Hardcover), and other retailers.    

Related Post:
101 Days Project: Prevail
BuddahDesmond Featured in MOOV Magazine 
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Full Poetry Reading from OutWrite 2012 
5 Minutes, 5 Questions With... BuddahDesmond on JoeyPinkney.com  

Nothing But Love (from 'Prevail')

I'm just a brotha tryin' to make it,
livin' paycheck to paycheck,
tryin' to stay afloat.
I don't have a lot,
but I have all of the necessities,
and I'm happy with that.
Hopefully you can be happy with that too,
’cause all I can give you is love,
nothing more    nothing less,
just a healthy dose of unadulterated, unconditional love.
No additives, artificial sweeteners, or trans fats involved,
just love.
’Cause all I want to do is love you—for as long as I can.

All those other things,
like money, clothes, and diamond rings,
you know—the finer things—
they're all real nice, but can you hold on to them at night?
Will they keep you warm,
will they provide you with a shoulder to cry on
and someone that you know you can confide in?
Will they love you like I can love you?
Hell no!
They provide a temporary high
to whatever you may be missing in your life at the time.
We need substance:
something that will last and stand the test of time,
something that we can hold onto.
And I've got it for you:
it's love,
all love.
You feel me?
If not,
then we can stop wasting each other's time right now by not going any further.

’Cause I've got nothing but love for you,
nothing but love to give.
I've got nothing but love.

© 2012 BuddahDesmond 

"Nothing But Love" is featured in the "Love" section of Prevail: Poems on Life, Love, and Politics. Prevail is available at iUniverse, Amazon (Paperback | Hardcover | Kindle), Barnes & Noble, Book-A-Million (Paperback | Hardcover), and other retailers.    

Related Post:
101 Days Project: Prevail
BuddahDesmond Featured in MOOV Magazine 
Full Poetry Reading from OutWrite 2012 
5 Minutes, 5 Questions With... BuddahDesmond on JoeyPinkney.com 

Weekly Musings on Life, Love, and Politics - Week 11

"Cracking the Harmony" courtesy of Exper Giovanni Rubaltelli

Greetings!  It's been several weeks since my last Weekly Musings update.  My apologies.  I was intending to get one up a little sooner but had to focus my energies on other projects.  But I'm at the point where a few of these musings have been marinating for awhile and they needed to be shared.  Some of them were inspired by a few episodes of Super Soul Sunday on OWN. 

1. If your eyes are open, if your heart is open and warm—love is never too hard to find.  Even if your heart is cold, just a little love might be all you need to renew your faith.  Love is everywhere.  As Adriana Evans sang, "Love is all around."


2. When I think back to hearing the word "harmony," the context (outside of music) usually involved unity amongst people or accord within the environment.  It was rare that harmony was ever mentioned when referring to the individual.  The focus was/is too often on being in harmony with everything outside of ourselves.  While this is important, harmony within—a sense of tranquility, calm, and peace—is just as much if not more so important.  As Panache Desai said, "There is no greater power than to be in harmony within oneself."  Cherish the harmony within as you would cherish your joy.  Stay in tune with it!


3. I thought we lived in a free state.  Isn't this the land where people come to live their lives the best way they see fit?  You know, the place where you can be anything and do anything?  The place where you are free to practice whatever religion you like without persecution?  A place where people of different political persuasions, race, gender, and sexual orientation can come together and live freely?  Each time I turn on the news, read the paper, or go online I feel the notion of this nation being a "free state" is the biggest farce known to man.  So much hate.  So much intolerance.  Forget acceptance.  Forget civility.  Forget unity.  Even tolerance is but a dream.  The ultimate pot stirrer is the abominable bond between religion and politics.  It's a marriage in need of a long overdue divorce.  Maybe when religion and politics distance themselves the "free state" will return...


4. Guarantees—are there any?  The one that always rings true is that there aren't any guarantees in this life.  With every fleeting moment, hopefully we're living our lives to the fullest extent.  Hopefully we're honoring our spirits.  Hopefully we're doing all that we can to make our souls smile, run, and jump with glee.  We owe it to ourselves to live our best lives.  If a moment comes when we find we aren't being true to the essence of our being, then it's time to turn the volume up.  This life is the only life we have.  So let's LIVE IT OUT LOUD!


5. The only validation a relationship needs is the validation of the two people who are in it.  When you truly love each other, it matters not what others say or think.  It's what the unit thinks and feels.  While others may not agree with it or condone it, they must respect it. 


6. Equality is when all members of society can enjoy the same rights and privileges without exceptions, exclusions, or conditions.  As Jill Scott said, "Equality does not equal equal if it's not divided equally." 

Until next time... Peace, love, and many blessings!

~ BuddahDesmond

Dr. Ben Carson's Gay Marriage Gaffe - Latest on MUSED

Image courtesy of MUSED.

Dr. Ben Carson is a highly lauded neurosurgeon, educator, speaker, and best-selling author.  After  making several appearances on Fox News and giving speeches at the National Prayer Breakfast and the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), he's become somewhat of a political wunderkind lately.  Carson recently caught some heat for comments he made last week on Fox News' Hannity about gay marriage.  He said, "Marriage is between a man and a woman. No group, be they gays, be they NAMBLA, be they people who believe in bestiality, it doesn’t matter what they are. They don’t get to change the definition. So, it’s not something against gays. It’s against anybody who wants to come along and change the fundamental definitions of pillars of society. It has significant ramifications" (Media Matters).  He later apologized and said his comments were "insensitive" and misunderstood.  He went on to say the "attacks" by "racist" white liberals against him "have been so vicious" (The Hill).  To learn more, read "Where Dr. Ben Carson Linking Gay Marriage To Bestiality Went Wrong" on MUSED.

MUSED Magazine Online is a pioneering "digital destination for lifestyle, entertainment & culture for modern black gay men.  MUSED serves as a collective of experiences and issues we care about" (see About MUSED).  Its mission is to raise the level of consciousness for our community and provide reliable, relevant, interactive, and engaging content for its readers.  MUSED is the only weekly online magazine for black gay men.

Major thanks and props to Drew-Shane Daniels and the MUSED family for featuring the article! 

Follow MUSED on:  Facebook | Twitter

Follow BuddahDesmond on:  Facebook | Twitter

Peace, Love, and Many Blessings!

~ BuddahDesmond

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The Music Of Life (from 'Prevail')

 
Life is so complex,
Like the rhythms and melodies of jazz.
It’s ambiguous,
Always open to interpretation,
Constantly moving and changing, like the syllables of improvisational scats.

Each hour marks a line
Which all compile to create each day’s song:
Sometimes fast,
Sometimes slow,
Sometimes upbeat and jubilant,
Sometimes moody and melancholy.
The lyrics tell your story.

The situations, tasks, and events of the day are the notes.
You embody an instrument that plays accordingly.
Some days you may be at the top of the charts;
Other days you may not even chart at all.
Nothing ever really stays the same.
That’s the joy of opening your eyes to a new day.
One never knows what lies ahead.

So when you get right down to it,
Life is a series of albums that detail
The colorful phases of your growth, development, and experiences,
All of the hits and misses,
All of the highs and lows.
That’s the music of life.

© 2012 BuddahDesmond 

"The Music of Life" is featured in the "Life" section of Prevail: Poems on Life, Love, and Politics. Prevail is available at iUniverse, Amazon (Paperback | Hardcover | Kindle), Barnes & Noble, Book-A-Million (Paperback | Hardcover), and other retailers.    

Related Post:
101 Days Project: Prevail

Weekly Musings on Life, Love, and Politics - Week 10

It's been a little while, but a new set of weekly musings is finally here! Check them out:

1. Just when we're thinking of or are at the point of giving up, something miraculous happens...A thought, idea, experience, action, or person inspires us to press on. And just like that, we resume our course--fighting harder than ever before.


2. It amazes me how quickly misunderstandings arise.  Some of us are so quick to jump to conclusions long before we've allowed others to express themselves.  We disrespect others when we cut them off.  We can also make them feel as if we're discrediting them and that their point of view holds no value or weight with us.  Active listening and thinking carefully before responding are so crucial when we communicate with each other.  It lessens the chances for misunderstandings and potential conflict.


3. No one is beyond reproach. We tend to pump people up, especially leaders, public figures, celebrities, and even ourselves.  But no matter how good we are or whether we've been called the best at what we do, we aren't too good to be critiqued.  If this was the case, we wouldn't have performance appraisals or reviews at work.  We also know that as long as we as a race of beings exist, we will talk about and criticize others no matter what.  But there's a time and a place for it.  And if we're going to criticize others our criticism should be tactful, relevant, and helpful. (And as the saying goes--if you can dish it then you can take it.) 


4. Sometimes it's best to take a step back and let others shine.  Can't always be in control.  Never should we allow our egos to hold us or others captive.  Under no circumstances should we try to dim others' light.  Everyone deserves a shot.  How else would we have made it thus far?


5. Personal decisions are just that.  We should never feel like we have to explain ourselves to anyone.  If those who expect or feel as if we owe them an explanation are in no way impacted by our decisions, then they deserve absolutely NO explanation.

Until next time... Peace, Love, and Many Blessings!

~ BuddahDesmond

80's Albums That Changed My Life (Part 1)

There's something about the music of my childhood that continues to influence, shape, and inspire me.  As a child who grew up during the 80s and 90s, I have to admit that the music touched me in ways much deeper than a lot today's music.  Artists seemed to be more motivated by making music that moved them and that meant something.  They weren't so much moved by formulas and record sales.  The motivation was their love of music and using their art in innovative ways to share their universal experiences with the world.

For the next few months, I'd like to share some of the albums that changed my life.  The first series of posts will focus on albums from the 80s.  Maybe some of these albums will be favorites of yours too.

Cherrelle - High Priority (1985)

Cherrelle teamed up again with the legendary producers Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis on High Priority, the follow-up to her successful debut album Fragile (1984).  Their undeniable chemistry, just like with the SOS Band, Janet Jackson, New Edition, Mariah Carey, and Yolanda Adams (to name a few), would generate another bona fide smash in High Priority.  Cherrelle gets down on funky tunes like "You Look Good To Me" (#26 R&B) and "Oh No It's U Again" (#5 Dance), the sexy mid-tempo groove "Will You Satisfy?," and the infectious, pulsating "Artificial Heart" (#18 R&B/#5 Dance).  Other notable tunes include the old-school ballad "Where Do I Run To?" (which Cherrelle co-wrote) and the mega-hit, classic duet with Alexander O'Neal "Saturday Love" (#2 R&B/#26 Pop/#13 Dance).  High Priority is memorable not only for its catchy tunes, top-notch production, and Minneapolis-inspired sound, but also because of Cherrelle's spirited, distinctive performance.  Her sassy yet sweet musical persona is one that fans simply couldn't resist.  High Priority is easily one of the best R&B albums of the 80s.

Vesta Williams - Vesta 4 U (1988)

If you didn't know it when you heard her debut album Vesta (1986), then you knew with Vesta 4 U that Vesta could SANG! Vesta 4 U showcased a powerhouse singer-songwriter who could tackle anything, bluesy numbers like "Best I Ever Had," funky uptempo tracks like "Here Say" and "How You Feel," sensual slow jams like "Hunger," and power ballads like "Running Into Memories" and "Make It With You." She had the type of voice that made you feel everything she was singing.  That's one of many reasons why she resonated so well with fans, especially on her classic, signature ballads like "Congratulations" and "Sweet Sweet Love."  With its endearing vignettes and interludes, Vesta 4 U also highlighted Vesta's commendable dramatic and comedic acting chops.  She was an all-around entertainer.  Vesta 4 U would prove to be one of her most successful albums, with 4 R&B hits "Sweet Sweet Love" (#4 R&B), "Congratulations" (#5 R&B/#55 Pop), "4U" (#9 R&B), and "How You Feel" (#70 R&B).  Vesta 4 U is arguably one of the best R&B albums of the 80s and one the best albums of Vesta's career.

Janet Jackson - Control (1986)

Singer, songwriter, dancer, actress, and producer Janet Jackson stepped completely out of her family's shadow and became one of the most influential (and successful) entertainers in music history with her third studio album Control.  A breakthrough personally, musically, and artistically, Control served as a testament of Ms. Jackson's independence, perseverance amidst personal struggles, pride, and self-actualization. With its ingenious mix of R&B/Soul, funk, hip-hop, pop, and dance music and its innovative use of digital instrumentation, Jackson, Jimmy Jam, and Terry Lewis ushered in "the sound" of contemporary R&B music in the 80s and laid the groundwork for what would become New Jack Swing (and later Hip Hop Soul).  A major crossover success, Control went on to sell over five million copies in the States and over 14 million copies worldwide.  The album produced several enduring hits, "What Have You Done For Me Lately" (#1 R&B/#4 Pop/#2 Dance), "Nasty" (#1 R&B/#3 Pop/#2 Dance), "When I Think Of You" (#3 R&B/#1 Pop/#1 Dance), "Control" (#1 R&B/#5 Pop/#1 Dance),  "Let's Wait Awhile" (#1 R&B/#2 Pop) and "The Pleasure Principle" (#1 R&B/#14 Pop), and made Jackson the first female artist to chart six top 40 hits from one album on the Billboard 100.  Control has been regarded as one of the best albums of all-time. 

Michael Jackson - Bad (1987)

Fans and critics alike were waiting anxiously to see how Michael Jackson would follow-up such a monster, game-changing, mega-selling album like Thriller (1982). Well, Jackson didn't disappoint with Bad, his seventh studio album.  Coming with a harder edge in sound, style, and image, Bad was another artistic triumph.  Teaming again with the iconic Quincy Jones, Jackson delivered an innovative set of tunes which, like Thriller, effortlessly blended R&B/Soul, rock, funk, and pop.  Jackson took even more creative control over the direction of his music, writing nine of the album's 11 tunes and serving as the album's co-producer.  Sonically and visually, Jackson solidified himself as one of the most extraordinary, creative, and visionary forces in the entertainment industry.  Bad produced several hit singles, "I Just Can't Stop Loving You" w/ Siedah Garrett (#1 R&B/#1 Pop) "Bad"(#1 R&B/ #1 Pop/#1 Dance), "The Way You Make Me Feel" (#1 R&B/#1 Pop/#1 Dance), "Dirty Diana" (#8 R&B/#1 Pop), "Man In The Mirror" (#1 Pop), "Another Part Of Me" (#1 R&B/#11 Pop), and "Smooth Criminal" (#2 R&B/#7 Pop/#10 Dance).  Jackson became the first artist to garner five No. 1 singles from one album on the Billboard 100.  Going on to sell over eight million copies in the States and over 30 millions copies worldwide, Bad has been cast on numerous lists as one of the best albums ever released.  

Phyllis Hyman - Living All Alone (1986)

It would be three years between the release of Goddess of Love (1983), Phyllis Hyman's sixth studio album (and final album for Arista Records), and her seventh studio album Living All Alone (her first release on Philadelphia International Records--PIR).  Hyman joined forces with legendary Philly Soul producers Kenny Gamble and Leon Huff for what many consider one of her finest albums.  Full of soulful contemporary R&B and jazz-oriented torch songs, Hyman provides a passionate soundtrack to love, loss, hope, faith, and resilience.  While somewhat melancholy and somber in tone, Living All Alone--like much of her music--paints a realistic, relatable picture of life, love, and relationships.  You couldn't turn on urban adult contemporary radio between 1986-1987 without hearing "You Just Don't Know," "Ain't You Had Enough Love" (#29 R&B), and her signature tunes "Old Friend" (#14 R&B), and "Living All Alone" (#12 R&B).  Hyman's vocal performances are stellar and serve as further proof of her status as one of the most revered vocalists and performers of all-time.  After 27 years, Living All Alone remains a contemporary R&B/soul mainstay.

Whitney Houston - Whitney Houston (1985)

Whitney Houston's self-titled debut album was a monumental, global crossover success.  It was a success I'm sure, even in 1985-1986, that was uncommon for a black female artist--especially in the early stages of her career.  Houston broke barriers and paved the way for many singers, like Mariah Carey, Mary J. Blige, Toni Braxton, Deborah Cox, Brandy, Monica, and Melanie Fiona.  Whitney Houston was the world's introduction to "The Voice." Houston's voice was rich, sensual, angelic, soulful, melismatic, and powerful.  An instrument of such effortless control, wonder, and emotive, interpretive skills, her voice put her in a class all her own.  She delighted on uptempo dance tracks like "How Will I Know (#1 R&B/#1 Pop/#3 Dance)" and "Thinking About You" (#10 R&B) sexy, soulful grooves like "You Give Good Love" (#1 R&B/#3 Pop), inspirational tunes like "Greatest Love Of All" (#2 R&B/#1 Pop) and spine-tingling ballads like "All At Once," and "Saving All My Love For You" (#1 R&B/#1 Pop).  Whitney Houston went on to become one of the most successful debut albums by a female artist in history.  Spending 14 weeks at No. 1 (Billboard 200) and spawning three consecutive No. 1 singles (Billboard Hot 100) -- "Saving All My Love For You," "How Will I Know," and "Greatest Love Of All," Whitney Houston was the first debut album and first album by a female artist to accomplish such a feat.  Selling over 13 million copies in the States and over 25 million copies worldwide, Whitney Houston is regarded as one of the best albums of all-time.

Jody Watley - Larger Than Life (1989)

Jody Watley has always been a trendsetter, whether it be in fashion, dance, music, or videos.  Never one to rest on her laurels, Watley continuously challenges herself and strives to take her artistic vision and expression to new heights.  Larger Than Life, the follow-up to her solo debut album Jody Watley (1987), proved to be no exception.  Reuniting with producer Andre Cymone, Watley co-wrote and produced 11 of the album's 12 tunes.  Larger Than Life incorporates a hypnotic blend of R&B/Soul, dance, funk, Latin, pop, and hip-hop music.  Watley serves up her A-game with sassy, funky, aggressive  (almost industrial-sounding) tracks like "Once You Leave," "What 'Cha Gonna Do For Me," "L.O.V.E.R." and "Real Love" (#1 R&B/#2 Pop/#1 Dance), New Jack Swing tracks like "Friends" Featuring Eric B. & Rakim (#3 R&B/#9 Pop/#7 Dance), and passionate, sparse ballads like "Everything" (#3 R&B/#4 Pop/#11 AC), "Only You," and the beautiful, Latin-tinged "Precious Love" (#51 R&B/#87 Pop).  Watley's influential single "Friends" is most notable for being the "first multi-format crossover hit to introduce and pair the custom and specialized 16 bar verse with a rapper and singer in Pop music in 1989" (Jody Watley's Bio).  And Watley's video for "Real Love," directed by David Fincher, received seven MTV Music Video Award nominations, making it then one of the most nominated videos in history.  Larger Than Life went gold in the States and sold over four million copies worldwide.  Larger Than Life is one of Watley's top albums and is one of the best albums from the late 80s.

Related Posts:
Running Into Memories: A Tribute to Vesta Williams (1957-2011)
Vesta Williams' Final Album, Seven, Set for March 2013 Release
All 4 Janet.
Day 91: Happy Birthday Michael Joseph Jackson
The P/H Factor - Phyllis Hyman: Tribute to a Sophisticated Lady
Day 66 - Happy Birthday Phyllis Hyman!
Day 71: Nothin' But Love For Whitney Houston
Jody Watley is Still a Thrill

From V-Day to My B-Day (A Birthday Reflection)

After yesterday's major lovefest, I celebrate the anniversary of my birth today.  The greatest gift for me on this day will always be the gift of life.  And what a precious gift it is!  So many of us complain about getting older.  I don't complain.  It's a blessing to see these numbers each year.  Let them keep coming!

The older I get the less I value the superficial and material offerings that often accompany birthdays.  That's not what it's about for me.  What's most important for me is being able to spend time with those that I love and being able to express how grateful I am to have them in my life.  What's most important is taking time to reflect on all that's happened in the last year, thinking about what I want in the year ahead, and putting a plan in place to make it happen.  What's also important is doing all that I can to be happier, healthier, and better than I was last year.

On our birthday it's important that we do exactly what we want to do.  This is one day where we shouldn't feel guilty about being selfish.  We've earned it.  We deserve it.  And whether we want the celebration to last for a few days or for an entire month, it's okay.  I'm a shameless advocate for the month-long birthday celebration.  (I recommend it to everybody!)

On this day, I am happy to be one year older, wiser, and better than I was last year.  I am thankful for this life.  I am grateful for my family, friends, mentors, supporters, and all the many blessings The Creator has brought my way.  Let there be many more blessings to come!

~ BuddahDesmond

Celebrate Love Every Day (A Valentine's Day Post)

Love is everlasting.  Love endures.  It doesn't come with conditions.  Has no qualms.  Love is free.  Love is freeing.  Love is freedom.

Love is welcoming.  It doesn't discriminate.  Bears no hatred.  With it, everyone has a chance because equality is love's best friend.

Love is beautiful.  Comes in all colors, shapes, and sizes.  Its range is limitless.  Its impact is eternal.  Love is boundless.

Love is confidence.  Love is faith.  Love is the feeling that everything will be okay even when things go wrong.  Love is harmonious.

Love is universal.  No one needs qualifications or requirements.  There's no battery of tests, obstacle or endurance courses necessary.  With love, everyone makes the grade. 

Love is not a fad, trend, or seasonal occurrence.  It's not something that should be celebrated only one day out of the year.  When it's real it's an everyday thing.  Love is a yearlong, lifelong celebration.  If we love ourselves—celebrate it every day.  If we love others—celebrate it every day.  If we have people in our lives that love us—celebrate it every day.  If we give love—celebrate it every day.  If we receive love—celebrate it every day.  If we make love—celebrate it every day.

Love.  Every day.  Love every day.  Celebrate love every day!

In Honor Of Our Mother (For Rosa Parks)

Image courtesy of the AlterNet site.

 
Today is Rosa Parks birthday.  Often dubbed the Mother of the Civil Rights Movement, she would've turned 100 today.  We owe much to Rosa Parks, and it's important that we honor her legacy.  In agreement with Rachel Griffin's article on the Ms. Magazine Blog, we need to praise Rosa Parks for doing more than refusing to give up her seat on a bus.  In continued praise, I'd like to share the following poem from my book Prevail: Poems on Life, Love, and Politics:

In Honor Of Our Mother
For Rosa Parks

Legend,
Icon,
Hero,
Mother of a Movement:
Those are just some of the terms often used to describe Rosa Parks.
As Nikki Giovanni described her, she was a woman "who did an extraordinary thing."
She exemplified strength, dignity, humility, and great character.
She was a leader who devoted her life to fight against injustice.

And on December 1, 1955—
After living in a time of segregation,
After living in a time of inequality,
After living in a time when we were considered less than human—
Rosa said enough is enough.
She was tired of being treated as "less than"
Because she knew were so much more.
It was time for the tables to turn,
And to reclaim our freedom.
In that moment, when she refused to give up her seat to a white man,
When she refused to go to the back of the bus,  
Her life, the brothers and sisters of the Movement, and our lives changed forever.
Her act of defiance caused us to rally together to fight for our civil rights,
So that we could free ourselves and this nation. 

Rosa's actions should serve as an inspiration
To stand up against any act of hatred, intolerance, prejudice, or discrimination.
So when you feel any form of injustice taking place, be it racism, sexism, ageism, homophobia and
     the like,
Stand.
When you feel that your or someone else's rights are being trampled over,
Stand.
If one person's or a group of people's rights are being neglected, disregarded, or deemed null and
     void,
We are all affected.

Don't be afraid to go out on that limb
And do what's right.
Don't be afraid to be like Rosa
And do the extraordinary thing.
Because change will only happen when we allow it to—
When we're ready to accept it into our lives—
When we're ready to take on the position and follow through with our actions.
Only then will we see the outcome;
And we all will feel it.

It speaks volumes when a nation mourns the loss of an individual.
And when our nation mourned the passing of Rosa Parks, it was a defining moment,
For she become the first woman to lie in the Rotunda of the US Capital.
Because many of the rights we take for granted were fought for by people 
Like Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King, Bayard Rustin, Thurgood Marshall, Medgar Evers,
     Malcolm X, Fannie Lou Hamer, Dorothy Height, Paul Robeson and Mary McLeod Bethune.
It begs to question, when our foremothers and forefathers see us carrying on the way we do each day,
     are they proud?
Do they feel that we are honoring their legacies?
Do they think we've turned our backs on the fight, our rights, our people, and personally, ourselves?

All the more reason why we should continue to honor, celebrate and commemorate Rosa Parks,
Because we've come a long way,
And we still have a mighty long road to follow.
And if Rosa had not refused to give up her seat,
Our fight along this road would've been a great deal longer.
History would be quite different, and so would we.

So bask in the glory of Rosa Parks and that moment.
Be grateful for the work and the many achievements of 
Rosa and the other brothers and sisters of the Movement.
And please don't forget your ties,
And your obligation to honor, and when called upon,
To strengthen the legacy.

May the Mother of the Civil Rights Movement, Rosa Parks, rest in peace! 

© 2012 BuddahDesmond 

Happy Black History Month!

Prevail: Poems on Life, Love, and Politics is available at iUniverse, Amazon (Paperback | Hardcover | Kindle), Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Million (Paperback | Hardcover), and other retailers.

Related Post:
101 Days Project: Prevail