Day 12: Poetry Spotlight - Not Anymore

Not Anymore

Taking out the trash.
Getting rid of all the old shit.
Locating all the hidden treasures that squandered
     in the presence of you.

Started over.
Went from lost to found.
Spirit renewed–found a new love,
Not as costly or exhausting as the love I had
     with you.

Got it right this time.
Didn't give way to self-doubt.
No more self-interrogation.
No longer being the criminal to the victim always played
     by you.
I realized when problems in relationships arise,
It's usually not just one party to blame–it's two.

I've washed myself clean.
Still have my issues,
But I acknowledge them and make it known.
There's always room for improvement.
But I can be myself.
No need to hide or disguise face, as if I would at heartbreak's
     masquerade ball.
I've been welcomed and accepted completely.
And did I say loved?
Loved like nobody's business.
Loved better than I could ever dream of.
So there's no need
     to look back
     anymore.

(c) 2009 BuddahDesmond

Day 11: Poetry Spotlight - Ain't Worth It

Ain't Worth It

Why get fully vested in something that has yet to prove
     its future's promise?
Why get emotionally involved when you still are unsure
     if he or she has your heart and you have theirs?
What's the sense in crying over it if the tears and your efforts
     won't change a thing?

When substance isn't fully formed,
And the foundation is absent or still weak–
It's too much to give your all if you haven't seen a return...
     especially when he or she is fixed, unbending.

When the union can't get beyond shallow matters–
Ain't no sense looking for depth.
Cause superficial love ain't love at all.
It's all a facade–
A fantasy of what it could but will never be.

If you're looking in others for what you can't do or find in yourself–
You're hopeless.
You're only killing time–yours and others–
When you drag someone else along and you're not ready
    (or you know they're not ready) for the commitment.
The wise choice:
Go play.
Get it out of your system.
Or stay single until you're ready.
Cause it ain't worth it.

(c) BuddahDesmond
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Now playing: Amel Larrieux - Weary
via FoxyTunes

Day 10: Julia Cameron's "The Artist's Way Every Day"

For the last few weeks I've been reading Julia Cameron's book The Artist's Way Every Day: A Year of Creative Living.  I find the information to be very inspiring, motivating, and refreshing.   Being a creative, artistic person - this is the jump start I need to begin the new year.  I've noticed since late last summer that I've had very few opportunities to delve deeply into my creative self.  And it's been killing me.  I feel like I've been neglecting a part of myself that I've otherwise had no problem nourishing.  And considering the fact that I started nourishing this part of myself at the early age of four - I'm like, "What the hell happened?"  But I won't fret.  I've never been one to force my creative self into doing something just to do it.  I have to feel it.  I have to be in the mood.  Each time I force myself into doing anything in this regard I hate the outcome.  And whatever is produced usually goes in the trash.  I realize that I need to give my creative self the space to process, exist, and grow.  And that I need to uplift and inspire my creative self just like I would any other component of my being.  I can move on now with a better perspective.  Here are a few takeaways from the book.

From January 11: "We expect our artist to be able to function without giving it what it needs to do so. An artist requires the upkeep of creative solitude. An artist requires the healing of time alone" (p. 17).

From January 13: "Writing goes much better when we don't work at it so much. When we give ourselves the permission to just hang out on the page" (p. 19).

From January 15: "When we open ourselves to something or someone greater than ourselves working through us, we paradoxically open ourselves to our own greatest selves" (p. 21).

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Now playing: Mary J. Blige - Each Tear
via FoxyTunes

Day 9: Rihanna - Rated R

I must say that I was quite surprised after listening to Rihanna's latest album.  I found it to be quite good.  It's a dark, emotional album that offers a deeper glimpse into the mind and artistry of one of the world's most popular singers/entertainers.  The sound and style of this album is quite different from what we've heard before (which may be one of many reasons why some fans have turned away). There's a musical versatility not quite seen on previous releases.  Rihanna's vocal performances seem a little more seasoned and confident and sprinkled with more emotion (thankfully).  And I think we now see the perfect melding of her image and musical style.  It may not flow well on this side of the Atlantic but that's probably due in large part to the fickle nature of our audience.  I give Rihanna lots of credit for pushing her talent into a different direction and taking some risks.  One thing the world didn't need was Girl Good Gone Bad, Part II.  And with "Hard" becoming her 13th top ten hit on the Billboard Charts, looks like "Rihanna Reign" won't be letting up anytime soon.